Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Happy Birthday, Mr. President

And so it goes…

Mr. Barack Obama officially entered the world’s stage exactly one year ago today. His presidential inauguration, in keeping with the coronation theme at his party’s convention the previous summer, had the aura of an historic event. The nation’s first black president (please ignore the pigment of his mother) ushered in a new era of hope and change to a nation on the cusp of its worst economic crisis since the great depression. Things had to be done, and done quickly. And our countrymen ordained Barack Obama as just the man to do it.

Or did they?

Since Euripides, hubris stands as the nearly universal flaw in tragic theater. And the life and times so the forty-fourth President of the United States seems eerily destined to repeat the tragedy of the previous Democrat to occupy the White House. As it was then, so it is today.

Arrogance often strikes down the tallest man. Then, it was an arrogant belief personal character failings could not disrupt a country bought off by a buoyant economy. Now, it is pure unadulterated arrogance of ego. The arrogance to believe the election was about him (surprise, it was about the rejection of the other guy). The arrogance to accept an unearned Nobel Prize (surprise, it was about the rejection of the other guy). And, most tragically, the arrogance to blame all the world’s problems on the other guy (surprise, it’s no longer about the other guy).

And so, with the dethronement of the Imperial Seat of Kennedy in Massachusetts, (and the juicy irony this act may signal the end to a poorly written health care plan passed in memoriam of the late Senator), we are left to wonder: Is this the beginning of the end?

No. The beginning of the end occurred just less than a year ago. As I’ve said before, that’s when Obama jumped the shark. The beginning of the end started with his peak triumph, what will undoubtedly go down as the infamous signature of his tenure as president, the failed “stimulus” bill. Sold to the public as necessary to stave off a Depression and create jobs, we have continued to bleed jobs and, oh, by the way, the cycle of the economy can cure itself, thank-you-very-much.

Rather than the beginning of the end, we’re more likely to experience a long drawn-out final act. No matter what happens this November, Obama remains with us until 2012. He may be a shell of his former self – and may thus be re-elected – but he’ll never attain the height he reached a mere twelve months ago.

Of course, he may never realize this.

Tragedies are like that.

Happy Birthday, Mr. President.

Welcome to your personal purgatory.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Barack's Head is in the Clouds

Let me get this straight. Obama goes to Copenhagen to collect a Peace prize for a peace he hasn’t achieved. He then gives a speech at the Danish capital calling for action to stop “man-made” global warming that may be neither “man-made” nor “warming.”

We can reach only one conclusion: Barack’s head is in the clouds.

Jim Carville once created a president by simply stating “It’s the economy, stupid.” My guess is Obama’s famous Blackberry does not include Mr. Carville’s number on his speed dial.

With unemployment more than 10% and no clear end to the recession in sight, there’s only one issue in the minds of Americans right now: the economy. Is the administration doing anything to prevent a repeat of 2008 when the mortgage resets come back in 2010 and 2011? Has Obama asked Congress to look at tax code tweaks that might engourage growth (and therefore hiring) in small businesses? Has the president taken actions which might elevate the stature of those visionary capitalists who will ultimately lead us out of this terrible recession?

No, no and no.

Rather than addressing the issue of collateralized mortgage obligations, BO has instead vilified the banks who had to figure out how to appease Congress by issuing these risky loans.

Rather than stimulate small business, BO has allowed Congress to overspend our budget for the sake of public-employee union-friendly “shovel-ready” projects and for bailing out the highly unionized (and dying) auto industry.

Rather than look to investors and wealth creators for innovative solutions, he has handed the check book over to Harry Reid and the whip to Nancy Pelosi in hopes of “solving” our health care “crisis” by punishing those who’ve earned the opportunity to freely choose.

In the meantime, while the economy burns, BO fiddles around with his failed European posse.

Is this the “change” America wanted?

Is this the “hope” America yearned for?

In less than a year, we’ll find out.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Today Wall Street, Tomorrow the World!

I’m facing a dilemma. Is Barack Obama more like Adolph Hitler or more like Josef Stalin?

Today, our supreme leader BO, after stating no one should begrudge our good business leaders from trying to earn the most they can, immediately begrudged our good business leaders for trying to earn the most they can. It seems he doesn’t believe these people work hard enough.

Let’s see, these people, over the past 12 months, did everything possible, including convincing the government to give them money, to keep their companies afloat. In most cases, they’ve succeeded.

Apparently, BO feels they didn’t have to work too hard for their success.

This from the man who actually had the audacity to accept a Nobel Peace Prize when he admitted he did nothing to earn it?

It’s double-speak of this sort that inspired George Orwell to lampoon Josef Stalin in 1984. The scary thing, though, is BO’s blatant strategy to divide and conquer evokes the cultural tactics of Adolph Hitler. First it’s the seven companies that received TARP. After all, they took government money, so aren’t they beholden to the government anyway? But, wait! What about companies the government regulates? Aren’t they beholden to the government, too? And what about any company that has to – or doesn’t have to – pay taxes? Since the government decides who does and doesn’t pay taxes, aren’t these companies also beholden to the government?

Once we’ve established all businesses must bow to the King, then it’s a relatively short hop to acknowledge other organizations and even individuals also have no rights that supersede those of the government.

Freedom of religion? Not if it violates government policy since, as government decreed tax exempt organizations, they are beholden to the government.

Freedom of speech? Not if BO thinks you’re “talk radio.” Obama told NBC’s Savannah Guthrie: “…if media is operating basically as a talk radio format then that's one thing, and if it's operating as a news outlet that's another…” (“Obama suggests Fox News is like ‘talk radio’,” The Hill, October 22, 2009)

Freedom to associate? Not if you’re a certain individual who wants to buy an NFL team.

The right to bear arms? Let’s not even go there.

So, I hope you can appreciate my dilemma. On one hand, Barack Obama wants to implement totalitarian policies only Stalin would be proud of. On the other hand, he’s using a strategy not unlike that of Hitler.

When he campaigned on the promise of giving us a choice, little did we know…

Monday, September 7, 2009

Beatles’ Break-Up: Barack Blames Bush

Partial Leak of Transcript of Obama’s Controversial 9/09/09 Primetime Presidential The BeatlesTM: Rock BandTM Speech Confirms Glen Beck’s Accusations

The White House Press Secretary dismissed as inane the uproar over President Barack Obama’s plan to deliver a primetime speech to the nation to kick-off the official release of The BeatlesTM: Rock BandTM, the much anticipated cross-generational video game

“I think we’ve reached a little bit of the silly season when the president of the United States can’t tell kids in America to play hard and appreciate the roots of Rock ‘n’ Roll,” spokesman Robert Gibbs told no one in particular. “I think both political parties agree that the break-up of the Beatles is something that continues to threaten our long-term economic success. The British band continues to rank among the best selling musicians of all time, despite not having released a new single in nearly two generations. Think of all the jobs the President would continue to save if the Beatles begin producing new music.”

Obama’s planned address to a joint session of Congress has its sights on rock fans and video gamers – traditionally young people who have yet to reach voting age but who remain surprisingly susceptible to velvety voiced mulattos of unverifiable citizenship. The unprecedented intrusion into an usually innocuous form of entertainment has prompted a push-back from some quarters that, until today, remained unreported by most reliable forms of mainstream media.

Conservative critics, led by media personality Glen Beck and divorcee Sir Paul McCartney, say Obama is trying to promote a political agenda and overstepping his bounds, taking the federal government too far into an industry long used to attacking the very establishment now trying to hitch its fast-falling star to the Fab Four.

Republican Gov. Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota, a potential presidential petitioner in 2012, said Obama’s speech is “uninvited.” He further suggested the president’s move raises questions of content and motive. Former Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin added in her Facebook page: “The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘Five-Star Panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘ability to earn Star Power and level of melodic – and harmonic should they have multiple microphones – accuracy,’ whether they are worthy of opening locked songs or moving to the next venue. Such a system is downright evil. I mean, how long does Obama expect to keep the heart of America in the Cavern?”

Many video game shops have decided not to show Obama’s speech, to be delivered at 9pm EDT Wednesday, partly in response to concerns from fans of “So You Think You Can Dance” and “America’s Got Talent.”

Yoko Ono, artist, musician and peace activist, defended Obama’s plan to address the newest Beatles fans:

“The bottom line is we need the President of the United States of America to use his bully pulpit to talk to kids about the importance of the Beatles to help inspire kids, the unemployed and those who would be unemployed today if not for the stimulus package passed earlier this year by Congress and signed into law by Barack Obama,” she said on The Joey Reynolds Show on radio station WOR NewsTalk Radio 710 in New York.

Gibbs said former Republican presidents Ronald Reagan, who loved Donkey Kong (the Gipper called it “Bonzo Kong”) and George H.W. Bush (who was partial to “Super Mario Land”) delivered similar speeches to Congress, although they coded they’re speeches. (Historians now cite Reagan’s “across the board” and Bush I’s “read my lips” as cipher language for their respective games.) Gibbs added Obama’s speech will not be partisan but rather a chance for children to get “a little help from their friend, the President.”

The White House spokesman refused to speculate as to the motivations of some electronics merchants.

“Look, there are some shopkeepers that won’t let you play Space Invaders,” Gibbs said.

Gibbs admitted the administration understands some operators have logistical concerns with the timing of Obama’s speech as many stores on the east coast close by 9pm. The White House had plans to release the speech online Thursday so those who had homework could read it, but the leak has spun its own donnybrook.

President Barack Obama’s controversial decision to offer all Americans – and especially the young – a primetime speech to mark the release date of the much anticipated new video game The BeatlesTM: Rock BandTM took a new twist this morning when portions of the transcript were found on the desk of the late Robert Novak. White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs initially denied the authenticity of the revealed text, but after Glen Beck played a grainy YouTube video on his radio show, issued the following statement during the 11:30am press briefing:

“I admit I don’t have clarity on how it was done, but the texts I have seen seem consistent with how the President has always felt on the issue.”

A clearly smug, if not still paranoid Beck, said he would gladly accept back any of the sponsors who followed ACORN’s advice and boycotted his program – at twice the usual ad rate.

Here is an abridged version of Obama’s Speech to the Joint Session of Congress upon the release date of The BeatlesTM: Rock BandTM: (If you need help reading this, I’ll hold your hand. No, please, I insist, let me hold your hand. Really! Yes! OK! I wanna hold your hand!)

They say, we’re in a Great Recession

You know it wasn’t me

When I, get a question

I’m gonna just blame Bush!

I’m gonna just blame Bush.

I’m gonna just blame Bush!

Oh, geez, can’t you see

That I am still your man

You won’t, drink that tea

You’ll let me just blame Bush

Now let me just blame Bush

I gotta just blame Bush

And when you hear me, it’s so good, my voice

It’s such a feeling

That I love

I’m your choice

I’m your choice

I’m your choice

Health Care, it’s so bad

Eight years of negligence

This is no, hanging chad

I gotta just blame Bush

I gotta just blame Bush

I gotta just blame Bush

But when I orate you feel happy, inside

It’s such a feeling

You won’t see

I just lied

I just lied

I just lied

I’ve no, accountability

You see it’s not my fault

I won’t take, responsibility

I wanna just blame Bush

I wanna just blame Bush

I wanna just blame Bush

I wanna just blame Bu-u-u-u-u-u-ush

(Bush buried Paul)

Thank you and I hope I passed the audition despite getting blisters on my vocal chords!

(portions of this may include reporting from Associated Press)